A Message of Honesty and Hope

By the Rev. Grace Pardun,

SCI Supervisory Chaplain, Ministry on the River

When I meet with mariners on the river, I am constantly reminded of their incredible resilience. They work long days in unpredictable weather, managing dangerous equipment, separated from family, and through this, often carrying burdens no one else can see. At the same time, I know that beneath the toughness and grit, mariners are human beings who are not immune to trauma and internal struggles, which may include thoughts of suicide.

We may never fully know what brings someone to that point. Sometimes it is financial or relationship stress at home that may feel inescapable when you are far away working demanding shifts on the water. For others, it may be old wounds and harrowing experiences resurfacing, or exhaustion from a demanding work environment, or substance use that clouds judgment and hope. Whether they’ve struggled with depression their entire life, or perhaps more recently, knowing “why” can evade our search for reasons; sometimes we simply don’t know why a mariner may feel like their only option is ending their life.

24/7 Crisis Line: 800.708.1998

SCI—Ministry on the River

What I do know, as a reverend and now maritime chaplain, is that no one has to endure that kind of suffering in isolation. That is why SCI maintains a corps of 30 Chaplains and Chaplain Associates along the inland rivers and Gulf Coast, ready to answer the call, to listen, and to walk alongside mariners in the darkest of times. We do this work because we know the challenges they face, that their lives are precious, and no mariner should ever feel forgotten.

Recognizing when a mariner may be struggling is one of the most challenging tasks. Mariners are known for their focus, duty, and toughness. Showing any vulnerability might be seen as risky, a sign of weakness. They may feel that they would jeopardize the respect of their crewmates. And certainly, not many mariners are eager to ask for time off and lose income for a mental health break. As a result of the stigma, many learn to push pain and exhaustion down, to keep going through storms, long hours, and heavy responsibilities. Because of this, loved ones and coworkers may not see the signs of trouble.

And yet, for the most part, the signs are there if we look closely. A mariner’s hygiene might decline. You might hear words that hint at hopelessness: “You’re better off without me,” or “I can’t do this anymore.” There might be increased drinking, reckless behavior, or even quiet goodbyes to family and friends. Strangely enough, sometimes a person who has been very depressed appears suddenly peaceful and happy. To outsiders, it looks like things are finally improving, but this could be a reflection of their relief over the decision to end their struggle. This is difficult to write about, so I can only imagine the difficulty in addressing this with another mariner. But, to be clear, the only way to know for sure is to ask directly. While it may feel uncomfortable, a question such as “Are you thinking about ending your life?” can be lifesaving.

But, to be clear, the only way to know for sure is to ask directly…a question such as “Are you thinking about ending your life?” can be lifesaving.

When someone does open up about suicidal thoughts, the most important step is to connect with them. Ask whether they have a plan, whether they have access to the means to harm themselves. Again, these conversations are awkward, but asking does not plant the idea—the idea is already there. In this situation, the role is to listen, show compassion, and remain present. There may be an urge to “fix” the other’s problems right away, but the priority is to let them feel heard and not alone.

From this point, it may be possible to work with the person on a safety plan, such as moving to a safer location, removing hazardous items, or ensuring someone stays with them until help arrives. On a vessel, this might mean a crew member remaining by their side until they can reach shoreside care. Long-term safety plans can include professional counseling, medical care, and ongoing support.

As well, at the Seamen’s Church Institute, we also know that supporting mariners facing such a crisis also means empowering their communities to help recognize the warning signs and learn how to respond with care and confidence. To this end, our Chaplains offer workshops, presentations, and trainings such as ASIST (Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training) and SafeTALK. Additionally, we would be honored to partner with companies, captains, and shoreside staff to build education strategies that make sense for their communities and crews.

Inland mariners give so much of themselves: keeping commerce moving, navigating challenging waters, and dealing with the burdens of life while spending weeks away from loved ones. They deserve to know that when life feels unbearable, there is someone who knows who they are and what they do. And we are here to listen, to care, and to walk alongside them.

If you or someone you know is struggling, remember that help is always available. SCI’s crisis hotline, 800.708.1998, is open 24/7. Please call. You are not alone. There is always hope. To schedule ASIST or SafeTALK programs, please reach out to our Ministry on the River team at [email protected].